Why do we seek God? What is the purpose of this personal relationship with God?

I have been thinking about these questions recently. I know many times people have said to me, and I say myself, "I need to seek God more because it's good and my life tends to be even more blessed when I do." Or I hear "It just helps my life be better."

But I ask myself,

What about those who are pressing into God daily, yet are having to flee for their lives. Does their pursuit of God make their life better? Are they pursing God for the sake of self-improvement?

What does "to be blessed" mean?

What about those who live in our own neighborhoods who seek God hourly, yet everything around them is crumbling, their families, their money, and their world. Is their personal relationship with God improving their life? Do they think if they pray a little harder everything will come together?

What does it really mean to have our life improved? How do we measure this improvement or can we measure it at all?

Often times in this subculture that many of us have grown up in or end up in, the subculture of christianity, there is a ton of emphasis put on you and your personal relationship. There is this idea, whether or not we are taught it directly, that tends to sink into our way of thinking. We begin to press into God because it is good for us, God is our home boy, God helps us take tests so pray hard before. God helps us find lost keys, so be in a good relationship so that you can find what is lost. I know, if I am going to be honest, all of what I have just written applies to me at some point in my life, if not now.

The other day I was thinking about this. We act as though Jesus is here for me, and we are the end. Of course Jesus came and died on the cross for my sins so I can be in communication with the Author of life, but it doesn't stop there. To often we get hung up on the "us", and loose site that we aren't the end, but we are a means and an end...

we are "the end of the beginning is the end".(thank you Billy Corgan)

What if we pursed God not to improve our own lives, but for the sake of those around us. The truth of the matter is when we are connected to the divine, the Holy One, YHWY, we are able to poor into others in a deep and meaningful way. What if our hunger for God was a hunger for those around us. What if we wanted so badly for those around us to experience relief, joy, hope, and true life, here and now, not just in the to come, that we pressed even deeper into God. What if we want so badly to have something worthy of giving our neighbor that we forget about our own needs as we press into God. But something really strange happens when we press into God for that reason, we get everything we need and more, but everything we receive pours out into those around us. Then they start to experience the Living God in a real and tangible way, and we experience God in a real and tangible way as well.

It's a shame that often times the real reason for our pursuit of God is a selfish reason. It's for us, and we can't get beyond that. We are pros at making excuses for why that is.

I need to have my stuff together first.

I am not in the right place to serve.

I don't know the Bible well enough.

Well I am empty so I need to fill me first.

Those might be true, but I think an even greater reality is that when we pour into those in need, all of our excuses diminish because we get filled.

It can be scary. Thats cool, let's admit that, and call it what it is, fear, then step forward together in faith.

I am not saying that we pursue God to get the right answers so that we can fix people, because that is also selfish. If we press into God for that reason, we put ourselves on a pedestal, when in reality we are extremely broken and need fixing also.

When we explore the ancient texts of the bible we see that God shows up to people not for them, but for those that come after them. But at the same time shows up fully for them as well. its a little bit paradoxical.

God showed up to...

Abram so that all the nations could be bless.

Abraham, Issac and Jacob not for them and their ministry but for the twelve tribes that came out of them.

Moses, not for just to help him with his identity crisis, but to lead a whole people into freedom.

The slaves in Egypt, not just for their own freedom but for the whole world and the blessing of the nations.

King David, not just for his current kingdom, but for his family line to which a savior would come out of. This savior would fulfill the promises God had made with Abraham. Which was to be a blessing the nations.

The profits, not just for the current generation of Israelites but for the future generations and the whole world.

Jesus showed up to...

The disciples, not just so the secrets of the Kingdom of God would be given to them, but so that they could take the kingdom tangibly to the ends of the earth.

The lepers, not just so that they could experience healing and wholeness, but so they could go to the temple, praise God, and tell everyone else the great works of God.

Legion, the man full of demons. Not just for him to experience wholeness and dignity, but so that he could go tell his home town all that God had done for him.

The woman at the well, not just so she could have a relationship with the God man, but so that her whole village could have an experience with God.

The Holy Spirit showed up to...

The crew of disciples, not just for them, but so that they had the power to go out of Jerusalem and to the ends of the earth. The Holy spirit fell on them not so that they could speak in crazy languages, but so that there would be no poor among them. So that the widows would be fed and cared for. For the orphans to have homes. For the sick to be cared for.

I'm sure you get the point. We see a theme arise from the biblical texts, we are to receive so we can give it away. We are to be blessed so we can be a blessing to the nations. We are to be an open channel, a steady flow, a river of life. We could keep going but I am trying to write shorter blog posts.

If that theme is true, why did God show up to us?

Why did God choose us and say "Follow me"?

Who are we called to pour our lives into?

Who are we supposed to break ourselves open for, as Jesus broke himself open for us?

Maybe some of us are having a hard time connecting with God, because we aren't connecting with the poor. I heard it said, when you forget the poor and the oppressed you forget God. I think that is a scary but true statement. I think often times we say, "I haven't forgotten the poor and oppressed" because we will talk about them and discuss how to help them. But just because we are talking about them doesn't mean we remember them. Just because we speak about God doesn't mean we remember him or know him.

Lets be sheep not goats.

Maybe if we are to be honest, our pursuit of God has been a selfish one. We were meant to be like a hose, with crisp, refreshing water flowing out of us for those who are thirsty. But instead we are a hose that is tied in knots and full of crud so water can't flow out of us. What water is in us has become stagnate and unappealing even to us. Maybe we even forget what the fresh water tastes like, so we have no idea how to give it to others.

God's grace is amazing. Far larger then I can fathom and greater then I could ever hope to understand. And I thank God that it is that big.

Let's stop making excuses like, I don't have time, I am too busy, I am not called to do ..., I am waiting for God to tell me what to do, and so on.

We know what God has called us to do. Let's seek out the poor and the oppressed, not so we can fix them, but so we can love them. And when we start loving them, we will once again start loving God. When we remember them again, we will once again be filled with the awe and wonder of the Creator of the universe.

We have been forgiven of much, no longer under condemnation but freedom, so let's go out and love much.

Let's remember how God has loved us, and go love others likewise.

Let's hold each other accountable to be the people we are called to be. People who are made in the image of the loving, full of grace, savior Jesus Christ.

As usual I am glad all you guys are in my life. You are a huge encouragement to me, and are continually teaching me who the person of Jesus is!

Grace and peace,
Chris

I'd love to hear if you agree or disagree.

The light of Jesus

There is a story that Jesus said would be told where ever the gospel is told. It is the story we discussed on Thursday night two weeks back. The story of the sinful women who came into the pharisees house where Jesus was dining.

As the story goes, this sinful women welcomed herself into the home of the pharisee who was hosting the meal and proceeded to cry uncontrollably, pouring her tears over Jesus' feet, as though she was pouring out a basin of water to cleanse him. She then used her hair like a freshly cleaned towel to dry his feet. Even still, she anointed him with an expensive jar of oil, releasing a beautiful fragrance into the air that, I'm sure, even covered the cent of the meal. She out did the owner of the house, the host of the meal, and she wasn't even invited.

As this woman performed this act, the other pharisees and guests started to murmur in shock that Jesus was letting this sinner touch him in this way.

Jesus responded to their murmuring by telling a story to the host. In this story there were two people who owed the same man money. One of the people owed a lot of money, and the other one owed not so much money. Both where forgiven of their debts, but one went away rejoicing even more.

Jesus asked the host which person he thought went away happier, to which the host replied, "the one who was forgiven of the larger dept."

Jesus then turns, looks at the women, and says to her, "Your sins are forgiven"

I'm sure Jesus' eyes where full of compassion and the deepest love one can display, and he continues and says,"Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Since the night that we talked about this verse, I have been thinking quite a lot about this story. I have been thinking about the pharisees and how they judge this women right away, basically casting her to be less then human.

I have been asking myself, how do I judge people?

Why do I judge people?

Who would I be disgusted to sit at a table with?

Why does one Judge?

Where the pharisees hiding any thing, and am I?

Do I love little, or a lot?

Not only have I been thinking about the pharisee, but I have also been wondering about this women. This women recklessly exposes herself. Steps fully into the light, the light of Christ non the less. Then throws the mess of who she is at God in the flesh, with every chance of being thrown out and laughed at, but instead she is received even more then the one who was feeding God. When thinking about her side of the story it makes me ask myself,

Am I truly walking in the light?

Am I hiding anything?

Am I afraid God would throw me out if I did an act like this?

What am I afraid to lose?

Am I actually afraid to gain?

Do I love a lot, or a little?

The the last person in the story to examine is Jesus. I continue to be amazed more and more by this person, the person of Jesus, the more I read the scriptures and share in life with others. In this story, Christ extends love to this women. Not just any love, but the purest love possible. A love that is asking nothing in return, but instead wants to give this women everything she needs, and what she needs is to be treated as a human. She needs to have someone look her in the eyes with love and acknowledge that she is valuable, more valuable then the jar of oil she just anointed Jesus with. Jesus' side of the story bring me to ask the questions,

Do I look people in the eyes with love?

Do I encourage people to walk out in who they are and seek to give them what they need without wanting anything in return?

Am I extending much love, or a little?

This story is a very challenging one, but an extremely beautiful one. Out of all of those question I found that I focused the most on the one about judging others.

If the pharisee thought he was capable of being as sinful as the woman would he had judged her, or would he have accepted her?

Or did he know he was as sinful as the women and was wanting to hide and cover his tracks, so he points the finger at her instead of dealing with what's inside him?

There is another a time when Jesus is teaching, and in his teaching he retells the commandments of Moses. When restating these commands, he steps up the difficulty level. He says things like, if you are angry then you have already murdered, if you lust you have already committed adultery, and if you have coveted something thats not yours then you have stolen.

I started thinking about this teaching. Often times I hear this taught as, be good and try to control your mind, stay away from being mad because that leads to DEATH, stay away from coveting because that leads to DEATH, and stay away from lust because that as well leads to... DEATH.

I was thinking, maybe Jesus was trying to get us to realize a deeper truth. Maybe he was eluding to the fact that we have already committed the worst of the worst sins. We have already killed, we have already had affairs, we have already stolen, we are already racist, we have already been full of hatred, unforgiveness, and every other kind of wickedness. We are already well wicked people.

Paul says in one of his letters," I am the chief of all sinners." In another one of his writings he says, " I do the very thing I hate."

Maybe paul grasped this truth. Maybe thats why Paul's ministry was so powerful. He saw no distinction between himself and everyone else around him. Instead he saw everyone around him in himself.

I think that we, as followers of Jesus, need to grapple with this thought. We need to in a sense, I think, embrace the fact that we are the worst of the worst. I need to embrace the fact that no one has sinned worse then me, because I, by Jesus' retelling of the law, have already done despicable things, terrible things that shouldn't even be mentioned.

I don't say this to bring guilt and condemnation.

I say this to bring life and freedom.

How is excepting the fact that I am a terrible person bringing life and freedom?

I believe that when we start to embrace our crap and the truth about who we are, what we want to do and what we have done, it allows us to encounter hope that other wise would have eluded us our entire life. A hope in the reconciliation of all things, that all things means even me! Praise God!

A hope that is the person of Jesus.

As we embrace our wickedness, and when I say embrace I by no means am saying that we hold onto lies about ourselves, and sulk around saying I am terrible, I am unworthy, and God can't use me. We get to say those things only once, then Christ brings us into the light with him. He embraces us deep into his love. We still remember those things, and even boast in the fact that we were once such people, for the fact that Christ is strong where we are weak. For the fact that where we are weak God is strong.

Paul said, "... I was weak to those who were weak.."

He never said I was strong with the strong.

Brilliant!

Don't worry I am coming back to the idea of judging others.

As I was thinking about this idea of admitting, I am the worst of the worst, I then realized if someone was to come to grips with the fact that they are quite a sinner, then they would never judge others. Instead of judging others they would look at those around them with compassion and a heart of understanding. Because they would see others in themselves.

They would look at a prostitute and realize that they are only one small step away, or no step away at all from being in the same position. They would see the prostitute in themselves, and have a deep sense of love and compassion, realizing that there is no difference.

The person who steps into the light, and boasts in their weakness, would see a homeless person and their heart would break. The repentant person would know that there is no difference between the two of them, but truly they are both broken hurting people. Instead of this person holding his nose at the smell of the homeless individual, and not wanting to make eye contact, he or she would be able to embrace the person who is homeless, and connect eyes, connect with a deep and sincere love.

The one who has come to grips with the fact that they are already perpetrators of the worst kind of atrocity, would look at a man or women who is a cross dresser or trans-gender person and see themselves inside that person. As this repentant person gazes into the others eyes, they would be filled with love, compassion, and a deep desire to pour into this individual, because the repentant man realizes he or she has received much.

The person who has excepted there own faults will look at the person who stand them up with love. They will look at the one who talks behind their back with compassion. They will look at the person who breaks a promise with forgiveness and kindness. They will be able to view others this way because they, them-self, understand the great reality of Jesus, and how he looks upon them with compassion and love. They will be able to forgive and have compassion even through painful situations because they know that Christ has pardoned them of so much and has extended his hand of forgiveness time and time again.

Maybe the people we judge aren't that different at all. Maybe I gave to extreme of examples, maybe its the way people dress, talk, look, musical taste, dance parties they do or don't go to, or maybe occupation.

And the list goes on and on and on.

We are all from the earth. We are all made of dirt. We are all fragile. We will all return to the dust of the earth.

Have we accepted the fact that we are extremely broken people?

Do we truly believe that?

Are we still in the dark?

Maybe we prefer the dark?

I feel that often times when we are judging others, we do it to create a distance. We are afraid that the people we are coming in contact with will discover who we truly are. We are afraid these people, who are actually just like us, will blow our cover, and everyone else will see that we are just like them. We put people in boxes, so that we can stay in our dark, dimly lit, cold, isolated, and what we think to be safe box.

The problem with being in this box, and keeping others out is that we are unwittingly keeping Christ out as well. In turn, we become like the dinner guests praying to... really praying to ourselves, that the person on the other end of the table will not blow our cover. When we refuse to let our cover be blown, or blow it ourselves, we refuse to receive grace and hope; we refuse to receive God's only son, the person of Jesus' Christ, our Lord, in a deep and meaningful way.

Some day all of the deeds done in secret will be shouted out on the rooftops, the bible says.

I want to shout out the truth about me before that guy on the roof does. I find there to be a lot less negative consequences when you confess your own deeds, before someone else rats you out.

Maybe you are at a place in your walk with God where you feel quite alone, and can't sense God.

Maybe have read this and your first reaction was, "I could never murder someone, its just not in me", " I would never cheat on someone in a relationship, I am faithful", "I have stolen once in my life, but I would never do it again, and I was only 4 I didn't know any better."

Maybe you are terrified to admit to who you really are because you hate it.

Maybe your afraid of losing the people around you, so you want to do everything right, and afraid that if you do come into the light, everyone and everything will leave you.

Maybe you have never truly felt the love of God in a deep and meaningful way.

Maybe the thought of actually experiencing this love, is more terrifying then never being loved at all.

These are all fears that could be very real and painful, but the one thing I do know is that we will never discover the fullness and truth of Christ as long as we pretend we are in the light. It is as though we are holding a glow in the dark sticker, thinking that it is enough light to get us through a pitch-black forest. Maybe its a really bright sticker and truly does help, but the thing is it will run out of light without another light to recharge it.

Are we going to walk out in faith, completely terrified, maybe everything will fall apart, maybe we will be disappointed, and maybe everything you have believe will fall part.

Maybe.

but,

"I tell you, her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little."

and I would say has felt little love.

The amazing thing about Christ is that he lets us choose. But he extends love and continues to pursue us, despite our choices. His grace is vaster then all the ocean combined.

No one ever said this Jesus thing was easy (if they did they were lying). No where does it say that the Way to life is an easy one. The bible actually says the opposite, it says its hard and a narrow gate, but in the end it's good, its beautiful, it's full of grace, it's full of compassion, it's full of forgiveness, it's full of a true selfless love, and it's the realist thing there is.

What does it look like when we step into the light; when we break into the dinner party we weren't invited to, to fall at Jesus' feet?

It looks like us feeling very vulnerable hunched over on our knees in tears, as we realize what is truly inside of us. We don't even have the energy to sit up. But it doesnt stop there. Because that is when Jesus wraps his arms around us like a warm blanket on a cold winter night. He then learns forward and puts his mouth near our ear to whisper his secrets to us, the way he feels about us.

And we hear the soft, gentle, loving words, "I know you, and love you. I know the plans I have for you, plans for you do be free, and no longer to be bound by fear, and pain. I have called you out of darkness, and adopted you into my family. You are set apart, a royal priest, now you are apart of a holy people. You are my child with whom I am well pleased. I knew you in your mothers womb, and have been pursuing you since the day you were born. You are my child, go and be free. Your faith has healed you, go in peace, for I am always with you, and will never forsake you."

That's what I believe walking into the light looks like. Jesus begins to speak into us the reality of who we are made to be, who we are in him.

Let's be a people that stand by each other in all of our ugliness. That when the truth comes out about one another we don't judge, but we look with the love and compassion that Jesus has looked on us with. Let's live in such away that we encourage one another to come into the light because we love a lot.

Let's be a people that are willing to look ridiculous in our pursuit of God. We are willing to break into dinner parties and cry all over the guest, because we desire to experience and share with others the love of Christ.

Let's be a people who take this love with us were ever we go. That we would be open and walk in the light and admit that we are the chief of all sinners, then step forward clothed in the Hope of Christ. In a love that turns cities upside down.

I love you all very deeply, and am well stoked to be able to share life with you!

Grace and peace,

Chris


p.s. I thought this was going to be a short post, but I guess I got carried away... Oops...