The light of Jesus

There is a story that Jesus said would be told where ever the gospel is told. It is the story we discussed on Thursday night two weeks back. The story of the sinful women who came into the pharisees house where Jesus was dining.

As the story goes, this sinful women welcomed herself into the home of the pharisee who was hosting the meal and proceeded to cry uncontrollably, pouring her tears over Jesus' feet, as though she was pouring out a basin of water to cleanse him. She then used her hair like a freshly cleaned towel to dry his feet. Even still, she anointed him with an expensive jar of oil, releasing a beautiful fragrance into the air that, I'm sure, even covered the cent of the meal. She out did the owner of the house, the host of the meal, and she wasn't even invited.

As this woman performed this act, the other pharisees and guests started to murmur in shock that Jesus was letting this sinner touch him in this way.

Jesus responded to their murmuring by telling a story to the host. In this story there were two people who owed the same man money. One of the people owed a lot of money, and the other one owed not so much money. Both where forgiven of their debts, but one went away rejoicing even more.

Jesus asked the host which person he thought went away happier, to which the host replied, "the one who was forgiven of the larger dept."

Jesus then turns, looks at the women, and says to her, "Your sins are forgiven"

I'm sure Jesus' eyes where full of compassion and the deepest love one can display, and he continues and says,"Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Since the night that we talked about this verse, I have been thinking quite a lot about this story. I have been thinking about the pharisees and how they judge this women right away, basically casting her to be less then human.

I have been asking myself, how do I judge people?

Why do I judge people?

Who would I be disgusted to sit at a table with?

Why does one Judge?

Where the pharisees hiding any thing, and am I?

Do I love little, or a lot?

Not only have I been thinking about the pharisee, but I have also been wondering about this women. This women recklessly exposes herself. Steps fully into the light, the light of Christ non the less. Then throws the mess of who she is at God in the flesh, with every chance of being thrown out and laughed at, but instead she is received even more then the one who was feeding God. When thinking about her side of the story it makes me ask myself,

Am I truly walking in the light?

Am I hiding anything?

Am I afraid God would throw me out if I did an act like this?

What am I afraid to lose?

Am I actually afraid to gain?

Do I love a lot, or a little?

The the last person in the story to examine is Jesus. I continue to be amazed more and more by this person, the person of Jesus, the more I read the scriptures and share in life with others. In this story, Christ extends love to this women. Not just any love, but the purest love possible. A love that is asking nothing in return, but instead wants to give this women everything she needs, and what she needs is to be treated as a human. She needs to have someone look her in the eyes with love and acknowledge that she is valuable, more valuable then the jar of oil she just anointed Jesus with. Jesus' side of the story bring me to ask the questions,

Do I look people in the eyes with love?

Do I encourage people to walk out in who they are and seek to give them what they need without wanting anything in return?

Am I extending much love, or a little?

This story is a very challenging one, but an extremely beautiful one. Out of all of those question I found that I focused the most on the one about judging others.

If the pharisee thought he was capable of being as sinful as the woman would he had judged her, or would he have accepted her?

Or did he know he was as sinful as the women and was wanting to hide and cover his tracks, so he points the finger at her instead of dealing with what's inside him?

There is another a time when Jesus is teaching, and in his teaching he retells the commandments of Moses. When restating these commands, he steps up the difficulty level. He says things like, if you are angry then you have already murdered, if you lust you have already committed adultery, and if you have coveted something thats not yours then you have stolen.

I started thinking about this teaching. Often times I hear this taught as, be good and try to control your mind, stay away from being mad because that leads to DEATH, stay away from coveting because that leads to DEATH, and stay away from lust because that as well leads to... DEATH.

I was thinking, maybe Jesus was trying to get us to realize a deeper truth. Maybe he was eluding to the fact that we have already committed the worst of the worst sins. We have already killed, we have already had affairs, we have already stolen, we are already racist, we have already been full of hatred, unforgiveness, and every other kind of wickedness. We are already well wicked people.

Paul says in one of his letters," I am the chief of all sinners." In another one of his writings he says, " I do the very thing I hate."

Maybe paul grasped this truth. Maybe thats why Paul's ministry was so powerful. He saw no distinction between himself and everyone else around him. Instead he saw everyone around him in himself.

I think that we, as followers of Jesus, need to grapple with this thought. We need to in a sense, I think, embrace the fact that we are the worst of the worst. I need to embrace the fact that no one has sinned worse then me, because I, by Jesus' retelling of the law, have already done despicable things, terrible things that shouldn't even be mentioned.

I don't say this to bring guilt and condemnation.

I say this to bring life and freedom.

How is excepting the fact that I am a terrible person bringing life and freedom?

I believe that when we start to embrace our crap and the truth about who we are, what we want to do and what we have done, it allows us to encounter hope that other wise would have eluded us our entire life. A hope in the reconciliation of all things, that all things means even me! Praise God!

A hope that is the person of Jesus.

As we embrace our wickedness, and when I say embrace I by no means am saying that we hold onto lies about ourselves, and sulk around saying I am terrible, I am unworthy, and God can't use me. We get to say those things only once, then Christ brings us into the light with him. He embraces us deep into his love. We still remember those things, and even boast in the fact that we were once such people, for the fact that Christ is strong where we are weak. For the fact that where we are weak God is strong.

Paul said, "... I was weak to those who were weak.."

He never said I was strong with the strong.

Brilliant!

Don't worry I am coming back to the idea of judging others.

As I was thinking about this idea of admitting, I am the worst of the worst, I then realized if someone was to come to grips with the fact that they are quite a sinner, then they would never judge others. Instead of judging others they would look at those around them with compassion and a heart of understanding. Because they would see others in themselves.

They would look at a prostitute and realize that they are only one small step away, or no step away at all from being in the same position. They would see the prostitute in themselves, and have a deep sense of love and compassion, realizing that there is no difference.

The person who steps into the light, and boasts in their weakness, would see a homeless person and their heart would break. The repentant person would know that there is no difference between the two of them, but truly they are both broken hurting people. Instead of this person holding his nose at the smell of the homeless individual, and not wanting to make eye contact, he or she would be able to embrace the person who is homeless, and connect eyes, connect with a deep and sincere love.

The one who has come to grips with the fact that they are already perpetrators of the worst kind of atrocity, would look at a man or women who is a cross dresser or trans-gender person and see themselves inside that person. As this repentant person gazes into the others eyes, they would be filled with love, compassion, and a deep desire to pour into this individual, because the repentant man realizes he or she has received much.

The person who has excepted there own faults will look at the person who stand them up with love. They will look at the one who talks behind their back with compassion. They will look at the person who breaks a promise with forgiveness and kindness. They will be able to view others this way because they, them-self, understand the great reality of Jesus, and how he looks upon them with compassion and love. They will be able to forgive and have compassion even through painful situations because they know that Christ has pardoned them of so much and has extended his hand of forgiveness time and time again.

Maybe the people we judge aren't that different at all. Maybe I gave to extreme of examples, maybe its the way people dress, talk, look, musical taste, dance parties they do or don't go to, or maybe occupation.

And the list goes on and on and on.

We are all from the earth. We are all made of dirt. We are all fragile. We will all return to the dust of the earth.

Have we accepted the fact that we are extremely broken people?

Do we truly believe that?

Are we still in the dark?

Maybe we prefer the dark?

I feel that often times when we are judging others, we do it to create a distance. We are afraid that the people we are coming in contact with will discover who we truly are. We are afraid these people, who are actually just like us, will blow our cover, and everyone else will see that we are just like them. We put people in boxes, so that we can stay in our dark, dimly lit, cold, isolated, and what we think to be safe box.

The problem with being in this box, and keeping others out is that we are unwittingly keeping Christ out as well. In turn, we become like the dinner guests praying to... really praying to ourselves, that the person on the other end of the table will not blow our cover. When we refuse to let our cover be blown, or blow it ourselves, we refuse to receive grace and hope; we refuse to receive God's only son, the person of Jesus' Christ, our Lord, in a deep and meaningful way.

Some day all of the deeds done in secret will be shouted out on the rooftops, the bible says.

I want to shout out the truth about me before that guy on the roof does. I find there to be a lot less negative consequences when you confess your own deeds, before someone else rats you out.

Maybe you are at a place in your walk with God where you feel quite alone, and can't sense God.

Maybe have read this and your first reaction was, "I could never murder someone, its just not in me", " I would never cheat on someone in a relationship, I am faithful", "I have stolen once in my life, but I would never do it again, and I was only 4 I didn't know any better."

Maybe you are terrified to admit to who you really are because you hate it.

Maybe your afraid of losing the people around you, so you want to do everything right, and afraid that if you do come into the light, everyone and everything will leave you.

Maybe you have never truly felt the love of God in a deep and meaningful way.

Maybe the thought of actually experiencing this love, is more terrifying then never being loved at all.

These are all fears that could be very real and painful, but the one thing I do know is that we will never discover the fullness and truth of Christ as long as we pretend we are in the light. It is as though we are holding a glow in the dark sticker, thinking that it is enough light to get us through a pitch-black forest. Maybe its a really bright sticker and truly does help, but the thing is it will run out of light without another light to recharge it.

Are we going to walk out in faith, completely terrified, maybe everything will fall apart, maybe we will be disappointed, and maybe everything you have believe will fall part.

Maybe.

but,

"I tell you, her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little."

and I would say has felt little love.

The amazing thing about Christ is that he lets us choose. But he extends love and continues to pursue us, despite our choices. His grace is vaster then all the ocean combined.

No one ever said this Jesus thing was easy (if they did they were lying). No where does it say that the Way to life is an easy one. The bible actually says the opposite, it says its hard and a narrow gate, but in the end it's good, its beautiful, it's full of grace, it's full of compassion, it's full of forgiveness, it's full of a true selfless love, and it's the realist thing there is.

What does it look like when we step into the light; when we break into the dinner party we weren't invited to, to fall at Jesus' feet?

It looks like us feeling very vulnerable hunched over on our knees in tears, as we realize what is truly inside of us. We don't even have the energy to sit up. But it doesnt stop there. Because that is when Jesus wraps his arms around us like a warm blanket on a cold winter night. He then learns forward and puts his mouth near our ear to whisper his secrets to us, the way he feels about us.

And we hear the soft, gentle, loving words, "I know you, and love you. I know the plans I have for you, plans for you do be free, and no longer to be bound by fear, and pain. I have called you out of darkness, and adopted you into my family. You are set apart, a royal priest, now you are apart of a holy people. You are my child with whom I am well pleased. I knew you in your mothers womb, and have been pursuing you since the day you were born. You are my child, go and be free. Your faith has healed you, go in peace, for I am always with you, and will never forsake you."

That's what I believe walking into the light looks like. Jesus begins to speak into us the reality of who we are made to be, who we are in him.

Let's be a people that stand by each other in all of our ugliness. That when the truth comes out about one another we don't judge, but we look with the love and compassion that Jesus has looked on us with. Let's live in such away that we encourage one another to come into the light because we love a lot.

Let's be a people that are willing to look ridiculous in our pursuit of God. We are willing to break into dinner parties and cry all over the guest, because we desire to experience and share with others the love of Christ.

Let's be a people who take this love with us were ever we go. That we would be open and walk in the light and admit that we are the chief of all sinners, then step forward clothed in the Hope of Christ. In a love that turns cities upside down.

I love you all very deeply, and am well stoked to be able to share life with you!

Grace and peace,

Chris


p.s. I thought this was going to be a short post, but I guess I got carried away... Oops...